


Oh Brother Where Art Thou

by nunyabizniz



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Brotherly Bonding, Family Dynamics, Swearing, Volleyball, smoothies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24194050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nunyabizniz/pseuds/nunyabizniz
Summary: “And also I have a brother, a twin brother. Thomas.”Teddy’s head whipped to face him so fast Billy worried he’d strain a muscle. Echoing Billy’s exact train of thought he said, “What the fuck!?”--------------------No Powers AU where Tommy is adopted by the Kaplans and both brothers look for answers.I'm planning on making this multi-chapter but I was also planning on leaving my house this month so y'know. More tags will come as more chapters do.
Relationships: Billy Kaplan & Tommy Shepherd
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	1. Tommy not Thomas

Billy’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. His brain temporarily short circuited before he finally forced out the words tumbling around in his brain.

“I have a brother!?”

“Looks like it.” Jonas said looking from his computer screen to Billy’s face. “A twin.”

Billy leaned back in his seat as if Jonas’ words were a force that pushed him. What the fuck? What the fuck, what the fuck, whatthefuck!?

“Are you sure?” He grabbed Jonas’ laptop and spun it to face him, staring at the file pulled up on the screen. Two birth certificates, his and another, Thomas. Same place, same date, same mother, same father. What the fuck he had a twin!? When he’d asked Jonas to dig up information on his birth parents this wasn’t even in the realm of things he was expecting.

For once Jonas didn’t snatch his computer back with a look of annoyance, he just watched BIlly’s wide eyes scan the screen unsure of what to say to his friend that just discovered he had a long lost twin. Complicated parent situation? Sure fine, Jonas could understand that more than most, but this was something he felt unprepared to handle. Now would be a great time to have Cassie or Teddy around.

Finally Billy’s eyes flicked up to Jonas’ face and he stammered out, “Where is he now?”

Jonas stretched his hand out in a ‘may I’ sort of gesture and took the computer back. “I might need a little while.”

Billy ran a hand through his hair staring into the middle distance. “Yeah of course dude! Sorry was I yelling. I’m just a little -” he flapped his hand in front of his chest struggling to find words.

“It’s cool man.” Jonas cut him off and gave him a look that he hoped came off as empathetic and not uncomfortable. “Are you gonna be okay to get home?”

“Yeah yeah for sure, I’m just gonna uh call Teddy.” 

They nodded at each other and Billy stepped into the hall dialing Teddy’s number on autopilot. He picked up after the first ring.

“Hey how’d it go?” Teddy’s bright warm voice eased the panic building in Billy’s chest but he still felt like he was in a simulation or a fever dream instead of standing in Jonas’ hallway staring at a painting of a vase of flowers. “Want me to come get you?” Teddy said after a few seconds without a response.

Billy forced his attention back to the phone call. “Yes, yeah. Dude...you aren’t going to fucking believe this.”

Teddy pulled up in the SUV he shared with his mom, it would be easier to take the train in the city but Billy needed quiet and privacy right now and Teddy knew that. Billy was already out the door and on the curb by the time he’d parked the car, he swung the door open and sat in the passenger seat with an exhausted huff. 

He smiled and pulled into the street but didn’t try to pry anything out of Billy, he’d talk when he was ready. After a few minutes of sitting in traffic listening to the Classic Jams radio station his mom had set up he heard Billy open his mouth and he instinctively switched the music off.

In a distant voice Billy said, “My birth mother’s name is Wanda, she’s thirty five. Jonas couldn’t find a current address, she’s been off the map for maybe eight years. And uh my father’s name was Victor, he was a genius apparently, he died when I was four.” Teddy opened his mouth to say something but Billy barrelled onward. “And also I have a brother, a twin brother. Thomas.”

Teddy’s head whipped to face him so fast Billy worried he’d strain a muscle, echoing Billy’s exact train of thought he said, “What the fuck!?”

\--------------

Later that night while Billy laid in bed burning his retina’s with blue light his phone dinged and he checked it instantly instead of aimlessly scrolling for a few more minutes. It was from Jonas. God finally. Billy wasn’t usually so impatient but when one learns they have a long lost twin they tend to get a little antsy.

> I found some stuff but you might not like it.

Oh god.

< doesn’t matter just email it to me

Okay that sounded a little harsh but Billy was too high strung with anticipation and nerves to care all that much. A few seconds later his laptop pinged. Jonas' email contained a link to a file from the Essex County Sheriff’s Office with a mugshot of a kid who looked exactly like himself at fourteen only skinnier and with bleached white hair.

Offender: Thomas Shepherd  
Age: 14  
Charge: Larceny / Vandalism / Curfew Violation / Destruction of Public Property

Billy didn’t know how long he stared at the words on his screen before opening the second link from the Essex County Juvenile Detention Center.

Name: Thomas Shepherd  
Inmate No: 42691

Billy read the rest of the file, then reread it again and again. He stayed up late enough to hear his Dad come out to take his night time shit, staring at the files Jonah sent him like they would somehow change.

He looked at the mugshot as closely as his computer would let him, studied the face that looked like a funhouse mirror version of himself. They had the same broad hooked nose, same high cheekbones and slightly thin lips. Except this boy's lips were pulled into a sideways smirk that Billy couldn’t even imagine on himself and he was staring at the camera with a bored look like he’d stood there before.

Tommy was about to respond to Jonas to thank him but his bedroom door creaked open and he slammed his laptop shut in a panic.

“Go to sleep Billy.” His Dad’s tired voice commanded.

“Sorry.” Was all he managed to say. He laid in his bed staring at the sky though his window paralyzed by the strange mix of emotions churning inside him. He didn’t reopen his laptop but he also didn’t fall asleep that night. Instead he watched the sun rise and the city’s nightlife trade places with the day and thought about the scattered biological family he’d just dug up.

Later he would drag himself to school for the sole purpose of talking to Jonas who had the magical ability to get his hands on anything on the internet. He could get the court proceedings, he could get records and Billy could know all the facts about Wanda Maximoff and Thomas Shepherd that there were to know, but it wouldn’t be enough.

He wasn’t trying to replace his own mother and brothers, they were his family and there was no room to deny that. But he couldn’t ignore the gnawing curiosity that told him meeting his biological family might give him answers even if he didn’t know what questions he was asking. After several agonizing weeks of obsessive research and serious introspection that felt like the beginning of another spiral he was convinced by Teddy, Cassie, Jonas and even fucking Eli that he needed to talk to his Mom and try to work something out.

\---------------

Rebecca didn’t know what to make of her son’s sudden approach after dinner. He seemed nervous, more nervous than usual, reluctant to meet her eyes or answer her questions directly. He held himself the way he did in the school courtyard when she used to pick him up, rigid and watching the floor like he could somehow melt into it.

He sat at the kitchen table while she washed dishes, the house was quiet for once because Jeff had taken the boys to see a film with their friends. Maybe that’s why Billy chose now to have this apparently daunting conversation with her. Maybe he’s finally ready to come out, she hoped.

“So…” He choked out the first word. She knew he always had to be the one to speak first , he had to set the trajectory of the conversation. “I don’t want you to get mad but um...my friend Jonas and I…” Not the friend she was expecting but this was still staying on track. Big smiles, convey support. “we...well, we’ve been tracking down my birth family.”

Amd just like that the rug was pulled out from under her. She tried to stay calm but surprise made her drop the butter knife she’d been rinsing. She knew he tensed up at that. Negative reactions make him shut down, she reminded herself. She turned the faucet off and spun to face him resting her hips against the counter. She wasn’t smiling her ‘I support you being gay’ smile anymore but she kept her expression neutral.

“And what did you find?”

He scratched that back of his head still looking anywhere but at her. “Well not much about my birth parents, except that my father’s dead and my mother’s disappeared but…” he drew in a shaky breath. How could the bad part still be coming? “We found out that I...have a twin brother...in juvy.”

Now he looked at her, a quick scan of her face before he went back to studying his fingernails. For all her years as a therapist Rebecca felt at a loss for words. Billy’s adoption had been closed, they didn’t know anything about his family, all they knew was that she and Jeff loved him and he would be their son. If they’d known he had a brother well, it wouldn’t help to think about hypotheticals her son needed her here and now.

She took a seat next to him and held the hand he was picking at. “What’s his name?” She asked because it seems like the easiest thing to ask.

“Thomas.”

\----------------

Tommy’s life honestly made no fucking sense. Everything that happened around him felt out of control and asinine, and yes he did know the meaning of that word thanks. From his home life, to his school life, to his new and unbelievably shitty juvy life. Sometimes he felt like a hot potato getting passed around from parent to parent, friend group to friend group, and now apparently family to family.

And look, he wasn’t even trying to complain, he had long ago accepted the inherent randomness of the universe or whatever was pulling the strings but this new twist felt out of fuckikng left field. Sure Frank and Mary were never great communicators but he simply couldn’t believe that they wouldn’t tell him if he was adopted. It just didn’t make any sense because they clearly didn’t even want him.

But when he met the boy the counselor said was his brother he couldn’t deny that he looked exactly like a chubbier nerdier version of himself. He introduced himself as Billy Kaplan, and this was his lovely PTA mom Rebecca and his catch playing dad Jeff and there was another set of rowdy but charming twins he’d get the pleasure of meeting at their place in New York. 

Just like everything else in his life people told him things were going to change and then they started changing before he could get a word in edgewise. Not that he was gonna pass up this apparent ticket out of juvy, whoever the Kaplan’s were they clearly knew some good lawyers, or at least semi decent unlike his public defender.

So yeah, he was ditching the white uniform and stupid numbers and all the other bullshit to jump down this new rabbit hole. He didn’t ask why he was moving in with these complete strangers instead of going back to Frank or Mary, it didn’t really matter.

They already had a duffel bag of his stuff from home in the car and there wasn’t enough in his cell to fill a shoebox so it wasn’t long before he was sitting in the back of a rented Buick on his way to New York, which he actually was excited about. He’d only ever been to the city on a field trip which he ditched halfway through, from what little he saw the city would suit him perfectly. The Kaplans he wasn’t so sure about.

Jeff and Rebecca spent the whole half hour drive telling him about the neighborhood and the schools and the situation with his probation officer and blah blah blah. Billy on the other hand was silent in the seat next to him, eyes glued to his phone. Occasionally he felt his new twin watching him while he stuck his hand out the window feeling the air whip by, unlike his parents Rebecca and Jeff didn’t snap at him to cut it out.

Thirty minutes wasn’t that long but by the time they pulled up to the tidy brownstone he’d now be calling home Tommy was itching to get out and go for a run.

“Billy could you show Thomas around the house?” It was phrased like a question but wasn’t.

“Uh just Tommy is fine.” He said without realizing it was maybe the first personal thing he’d said to any of them.

“Okay Tommy it is.” Rebecca smiled at him and he felt more genuinely welcomed than he had in Frank’s new apartment after the divorce.

“This way.” Billy said pointing to the building they were parked in front of. Tommy wanted to say ‘yeah duh’ but that felt like pushing it so soon.

He lugged his duffel bag up the steps and into a small noisy apartment where two middle schoolers were wrestling on the floor.

“Hey cut that out!” Billy snapped and Tommy was honestly surprised this quiet kid could bark like that. The two boys clearly weren’t bothered by his tone though, instead they popped up like meerkats zeroing in on Tommy reminding him of two tiny terminators.

“Is that him!? You guys look so different for twins! Wanna come look at my room? I have a pikachu amiibo! Wanna play smash together?”

“Oh my gosh look at your hair!? Did your mom let you do that? Mine says not til I’m forty!”

Both screeching voices overlapped and Tommy blinked trying to parse what he’d heard. Is this what people heard when he talked too fast?

“Alright seriously cut it out guys.” Billy waved a hand and like he cast a spell they both fell quiet. “Mom’s gonna be in in a minute, why don’t you guys just go set the table.”

“Kay.” They both said in unison before hopping over the couch and heading towards the small dining room area. Freaky.

“Sorry about that.” Billy said with a genuinely apologetic look on his face. “They get excited really easily.”

“It’s cool dude.” He smiled, the picture of nonchalance. “There were kids way crazier than that in juvy.” Billy let out something between a surprised yelp and a laugh. 

His new room was cramped and dark and strewn with Billy’s mess. There was a twin bed set up across from Billy’s with a plain light blue comforter and a nightstand. He threw his duffle bag at the foot of the bed and flopped down, and wow this was so much more comfortable than the beds in juvy. Tommy closed his eyes and felt himself relax into the ridiculous plushiness surrounding him when he realized that Billy had been speaking.

“... and usually we all take turns but they figured it’s been a big day so we’re doing takeout tonight. Hope you like Chinese, Jasmine’s makes the best lo mein I’ve ever had seriously.”

“Uhh…” He said for maybe a little too long, “yeah I love lo mein.”

“Okay cool great!” Billy looked genuinely pleased. Was every expression this dude made so earnest? “Well dinner’ll be on in about ten minutes so you can just come out whenever, I’ll just uh...let you get situated.” With that he stood awkwardly and exited the room, closing the door behind him.

Tommy was relieved at the privacy. He unzipped his bag checking what they’d packed, they must’ve gotten this all from Mary because it’s basically just blue jeans and goodwill polos. Oh but thank god she packed the ratty sneakers he was practically busting a toe through before juvy, they’d definitely still fit. But hey he had the essentials, toothbrush, comb, socks. She probably threw everything else out, he thought with a surprising amount of bitterness. Whatever that chapter of his life was over, he was on to new horizons.

He leaned back against the wall dangling his legs over the edge of the bed. Billy’s room was decorated with posters of retro space shows and musicals and photos of friends and family. There was a beat up looking desk stacked with papers and books and an equally beat up looking dresser littered with miscellaneous knick knacks and empty water bottles. Just the average room of an average gay teenage boy.

Tommy felt out of place like a gun in a cutlery drawer.

When he noticed his leg was shaking he hopped up immediately, if he was still in juvy he’d start doing squats or jumping jacks or something but that didn’t feel right here. He paced back and forth in the room looking despite his size like a caged animal. He eyed the window, they were just one story up he could probably get to the street, but the first night probably wasn’t a good time to start stirring shit up. Just as he was about to start nervously picking at the scab near his elbow Billy swung the door open.

“Dinner’s here.” He said before turning on his heel and thudding down the stairs like fleeing prey. Tommy followed expecting to see takeout containers on the counters for people to grab and go, instead he found the Kaplan family sitting at the dinner table with the Chinese food piled onto white porcelain plates. 

They looked at him expectantly and he couldn’t help but feel creeped out. The only other time he could remember having dinner like this was at this weird religious kid’s house when he’d stayed the night in middle school. That kid’s family had sat around the table and made him pray with them before having the blandest dinner of his life, including the months of juvy food. He ended up leaving through the window later that night. To his relief the Kaplans didn’t make him say a prayer even though they were Jewish, which he picked up from brass ornament with Hebrew letters fixed to the doorpost. 

Religiousness aside Tommy still felt like he was sitting on pins and needles at the Kaplan table. The twins, the other twins, were chattering away about whatever was inane shit was happening in their class while everyone reached over each other grabbing servings of this and that. He was struck by how well they all fit together, if he wasn’t slightly darker skinned than them Tommy would’ve thought Billy was their biological son.

Dinner went by painfully slow just like the rest of the day had. He answered questions when he was asked like “Do you like teriyaki?” and “Have you ever been to New York before?” but for the most part he stayed quiet. His leg shook incessantly under the table and Billy definitely noticed because he kept giving him this weird sideways look. 

He practically inhaled his two plates of food because it had been a long time since he had anything resembling good food. When he finished he sat back itching to leave but unsure of what he actually should do next, the Kaplans seemed like the kind of family to have a chore wheel or some shit so he’d probably have to ask to be excused. 

He felt distinctly like a bug under a microscope with all the looks they kept shooting at him when they thought he wouldn't notice. It was eerily similar to the court mandated therapy sessions he was forced to attend and that was not a vibe Tommy really enjoyed. 

Just as he felt like he was about to burst and do something stupid and impulsive Billy stood up with quick thank you and cleared his plate off the table. Getting the impression that he too could just get up and leave Tommy practically leapt to his feet, his chair screeching behind him. He dumped his plate and silverware in the sink just like Billy and followed him into his room.

Living here was definitely going to be an adjustment, one he honestly wasn’t sure how to handle, but he’d handled every other ‘adjustment’ life threw at him this far and this one at least came with decent meals and a comfortable bed. Simultaneously jittery with pent up energy and exhausted from restraining himself Tommy laid on his new bed and stared at a new ceiling. This one at least was a popcorn ceiling so it was more interesting to stare at then the one in juvy.

And yet again he realized his new brother was talking halfway through his sentence.

“...can use it anytime you want obviously. The hot water runs out pretty quick though so long showers are a once in a while type of thing. There’s a grocery list on the fridge so whatever you want just write it down and Mom’ll get it. Uhhhh...trash nights are Mondays, the school’s not far from here, just like a ten minute train ride, uhhh…”

“Anything fun to do around here?” Tommy asked cutting Billy off mid informative ramble.

“Oh…” Billy looked surprised by this question, “um yeah. There’s basically anything you can think of dude. This is New York.” Wow what a New Yorker thing to say.

Tommy perked up at that though, he could think of a lot of things. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked at Billy with a new light in his eyes that Billy was simultaneously happy and disturbed to see.

“Is there a laser tag?” Tommy said, sounding a little like a kid asking if they could have extra cake.

Billy blinked unsure if this was ironic or not. When Tommy’s gaze didn’t falter he inferred that it wasn't and thought hard for a minute trying to recall where the eighth grade birthday party he’d been invited to was. “Yeah I think there’s a good one up in Brooklyn somewhere, like around Bridge St I think.”

“Sick.” Tommy said and then flopped onto his back again like that was all he wanted to say.

“Do you like laser tag?” Billy asked, he sounded nervous. Tommy wasn’t the type to get overly impatient with skittish people, most of the time he could see or at least imagine where they were coming from. But with Billy it felt grating, maybe it was the stress from the day, or the fact that they shared a face and he’d never act like that, or that he’d seen this kids cookie cutter life, he just couldn’t find it in himself to sympathize.

“Dunno never been.” He said, still staring at the ceiling.

“Really?” Billy was clearly hoping for an actual conversation, maybe a little brotherly bonding.

“Yah.” And he had to admit he sounded a little like a Valley Girl when he said that but he’d been putting on his best normal boy act all day and it was starting to wear thin. He could practically hear Billy’s brain working overtime to come up with a way to keep talking so he spoke first. “Look man I’m tired, I’m just gonna go brush my teeth alright.”

“Oh yeah totally.” Billy gestured loosely at the door and nodded.

Tommy closed and locked the bathroom door before letting out a breath that loosened his whole body. The Kaplan bathroom was nice but messy from being shared by five, now six, people. The lights were bright and golden and they practically glossed over the dark circles under his eyes. Tommy stared at himself standing in front of the tasteful flower print shower curtain in his grayed and fraying Bears sweatshirt that he’d stolen from Frank, there was no way he was gonna fit here. He shoved his toothbrush in his mouth and scrubbed.

Back in the room Billy was laying on his bed with his laptop on his stomach and a pair of headphones over his ears. Since he was already wearing sweatpants Tommy didn’t bother to check his duffel bag for pyjamas, he just crawled under the blanket that smelled like fresh towels and turned to face the wall. 

Billy stayed up late, later than Tommy even, so he was up to see Tommy turn away from the wall, mouth slightly open, face slack. He wondered if that’s what he looked like when he slept, then Tommy started snoring and Billy had to put his headphones in noise cancelling mode just to fall asleep.


	2. So This is Life Now?

“I don’t know it feels like things should be easier y’know, like innate or something.” Billy slung his backpack across his shoulder.

“It’s only been two weeks babe. You just need to be patient.” Teddy said from behind his locker door. “This is probably a lot for him too, he’ll come around.”

“Yeah I know.” Billy pouted. 

“I promise babe,” Teddy then cupped his face and drew him in for a quick but full kiss. “no one can resist being friends with you.” Billy tensed up a little eyes flicking around the halls, in his old school this would’ve been an invitation for ridicule or worse. But he was fine now, he was safe, he had Teddy. He reminded himself of these facts as he relaxed into the hug.

God Teddy was so great, where would Billy be without him? Probably in his room wasting his away watching old TV shows and visiting chat forums. 

“It’s like he refuses to talk to me though.” Billy pulled out of the hug reluctantly. “Like everytime I ask a question he just…” he made a gesture that Teddy couldn’t quite translate despite being fluent in Billy’s gesticulations. “clams up. And he’s always out too, like anytime he’s not sleeping or listening to my Mom he’s out ‘getting the lay of the land’ or whatever.”

Teddy frowned contemplating. It really wasn’t fair how cute he looked when he was thinking hard.

“Well maybe you should ask to go with him next time. He probably just hasn’t settled in at your house. Maybe if you hang out in public he’ll be more comfortable. Neutral ground or whatever. Anyways you shouldn’t stress out about it too much, everything will work out. You know what you should be stressed about is that AP History midterm, the practice exam will be here before you know it.”

And with that Teddy gave him a peck on the forehead before disappearing into the churning crowd of students.

Billy gave the idea some thought, the Tommy idea not the History idea, he didn’t have the spare energy for that. He gave it a lot of thought actually. All throughout school he wondered where exactly Tommy was going, and if he would let Billy tag along, and how someone who looked so similar to him could be so different. 

He felt a little naive for hoping that once they met in person he would feel some sort of life altering cosmic connection and things would all start falling into place, in the end they were basically strangers. Eventually though he made up his mind, he would swallow the nervous squirming feeling he got around Tommy and just ask to hang out.

His house was empty when he came back from school, both parents still at work and both brothers still at school. Tommy too was nowhere to be found though Billy couldn’t say for sure where he was. Billy reheated some of the kugel his aunt had brought over and settled onto his bed headphones already on and Netflix loading. Before he could take a bite though he heard the front door slam shut and the fridge open.

Downstairs Tommy was bent over digging through the piles of tupperware and produce, he didn’t even notice Billy. When he pivoted and closed the door he practically jumped in the air.

“Jesus dude don’t sneak up on me like that.” He said with a hand to his chest.

“Sorry.” Billy said and as usual Tommy acted like he was just gonna drop the conversation there. “Sooo…” Billy started unsure of what to do with his arms, “what you been up to?”

Tommy gave him a look like he’d just asked a seriously invasive question. “Stuff.”

Billy bit back the surge of annoyance. Tommy was sitting on the counter, not allowed, eating a box of Chobani flip cup yogurt, which are his Dad’s.

“You going out again later?”

“I dunno, prolly.” He said through a mouthful of granola and yogurt.

“Mind if I come with?” 

Tommy looked up from his yogurt at that, eyeing Billy like there was some secret message he was trying to decode. “Don’t you have Star Trek episodes to catch up on?”

And okay maybe that was fair because aside from hanging out with Teddy and occasionally studying with Eli and Jonas he didn’t get out of the house much, but why did Tommy have to jab at that instead of just saying yes?

“Actually I finished that but thanks for checking.” Billy added a little edge to his voice just to show Tommy he wasn’t gonna get pushed around. He had more than a little practice handling petty insults.

“Suit yourself.” Tommy shrugged, scooping the last spoonful into his mouth. “Just don’t blame me if you’re not home in time for dinner.” He said like it was some inside joke.

With that he hopped off the counter and was out the door before Billy could tell him to wait up. He hastily shoved his feet into a pair of boots by the door and ran after Tommy who was halfway up the street already. God he moved fast.

They rode the train past Union street heading downtown and despite only being in New York for a few weeks Tommy seemed perfectly at home sandwiched between strangers in the packed cars. Most people new to the city were nervously checking the stops and straining to hear the unintelligible voice over the speaker, Teddy still couldn’t comfortably navigate the subway that’s why he tended to borrow his Mom’s SUV. 

“Where’re we going?” Billy asked over Tommy’s shoulder.

He shrugged. “Dunno, haven’t been in this direction yet so wherever seems interesting I guess.”

“Well we’re heading towards Prospect Park, that place is pretty nice.”

Tommy turned to look at him, eyebrows raised like it’s such a surprise Billy knows the layout of the city. The train ride and walk to Prospect Park was just as stilted and awkward as their interactions at home. Tommy seemed determined to remain two paces ahead of him the entire time and Billy was working up a sweat just trying to keep up with him. 

Billy tried to talk about what he assumed was normal stuff, shows and the weather, but the knot in his gut twisted tighter making him forget how to have normal casual conversations. Not that Tommy would notice, he was too busy examining the pretty mundane street they were on, eyeing every corner like he was trying to memorize it.

Billy would be annoyed about being ignored but Tommy had this look on his face, similar to the one he’d had on the car ride back from New Jersey but less muted and without the accompaniment of fear. He looked excited. It reminded Billy of a picture his mom had framed in the hall of him at his bat mitzvah, unwrapping two tickets to see The Bridges at Madison County live.

When they finally reached the park Tommy slowed, just enough that Billy could walk parallel to him if he hustled a little. The park was a nice place, he used to come with Teddy a lot when they’d first started dating, there was a lake with branching streams, a wide meadow, a few miles of trails and an abundance of public bathrooms. 

Tommy whistled surveying the park which was full of joggers and couples out for evening walks. “This place is pretty spiffy.” 

“Yeah they keep it nice for the tourists.” Billy said falling into step with Tommy. 

They walked along lookout hill where families were eating at picnic tables and groups of friends were lounging in the grass. Billy ran through the checklist of questions he had been stockpiling ever since he discovered Tommy’s existence, trying to sort them into casual and definitely off limits.

Just as he opened his mouth Tommy broke into a jog shouting “Ooh drinks!”

He caught up to Tommy in front of a smoothie stand where he was examining the menu. He’d been to this stand many times with Teddy, his favorite was the pina colada. While Tommy continued reading the menu he grabbed a place in line behind a father who was holding a baby in one arm and corralling a toddler in the other. 

He watched the father lean down and whisper something in the child's ear, likely a plea to behave, then returned his attention to his brother. Tommy was rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet looking painfully conflicted. He spun on his heel so fast Billy actually jumped a little. 

“ShouldIgetpinacoladaorkiwiraspberry?”

“Huh?”

“Pi-na co-la-da or ki-wi rasp-berr-y.” Tommy said over extending each syllable like Billy was an idiot for not being able to parse his flurry of speech.

“Pina colada.” Was all Billy said in response.

The girl at the counter, Jessica, had light brown hair and the most convincing customer service smile Billy’d ever seen next to Teddy’s.

“What can I get ya?” She asked brightly.

“Two medium pina coladas please.” Billy said, fishing for his wallet.

“Make mine with extra whipped cream.” Tommy flashed a smile at her that Billy was pretty sure was flirtatious before slapping a twenty onto the counter.

Billy made a mental note to ask where he’d gotten the money but decided it wasn’t the time since he wanted to pick up the tab. Drinks in hand the twins walked down the hill and along the lakeshore at a pace Billy actually found reasonable.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Billy shot Tommy a glance looking for any adverse reaction, as always he looked cool as a cucumber.

“Sure shoot.” Tommy said, removing the cap from his smoothie and licking the pile of whipped cream off the top.

“Why the bleached hair?” Billy decided that was the safest place to start. Tommy looked surprised at the question, he reached a hand up absentmindedly grabbing a stray wisp. He looked almost insecure so Billy hurried to add, “I mean not that it doesn’t look good or anything it’s just that I always thought it’d kill the texture.”

“Oh it does dude.” Tommy smiled and leaned his head in Billy’s direction inviting him to feel it. He was surprised at the invitation given Tommy’s usual standoffishness but he was pleased nonetheless. Sure enough his hair was dry and brittle almost wiry, unlike Billy’s which while occasionally greasy was full and soft. “I just figured why not y’know.” Tommy said, straightening back up. “Fuck it.”

“Have you ever dyed it any other colors?”

“Nah not really. We just had all these old bleaching kits around the house for some reason so I just used them all.” Tommy tugged a strand of hair down his forehead and crossed his eyes to look at it. “Could probably use a touch up though.”

“My barber dyes hair too. We could make an appointment sometime next week if you want.”

“Nah. I’m not really that big on strangers massaging my scalp y’know.”

“Well then we could ask my Mom to pick up a kit, toner too if you want any.”

“Yeah I guess.” He stirred his drink around and took a long slow sip. “Man these smoothies slap, I gotta come here again.”

“Yeah they’re pretty good, I used to come here a lot with my boyfriend and he’d always get the strawberry banana flavor.”

Tommy wrinkled his nose. “Yuck that’s like the worst flavor combo.”

“I know right!” Billy said maybe a little too enthusiastically. He was excited though, this was something they had in common. “Everyone’s so crazy about it but I think it tastes like shit.”

Tommy shrugged and said “People be wack.” in the same tone one would say “So it goes.”

Billy nodded. “They really do.”

Tommy slurped the last remnants of smoothie from the bottom of his cup and chucked it into an upcoming trash can. 

“Now can I ask you a question?” Tommy said leaning just slightly into Billy’s personal space.

“Shoot.” He replied.

“Why’d you want me to come live with you?” Wow okay right to the heavy stuff, no dancing around for Tommy. 

“I don’t know I just…” he lapsed into silence, unable to even consider what words to say next. He never really bothered to ask himself that question, once he found out about Tommy it just felt right that they should be in each other’s lives, it just made sense. Tommy watched him expectantly but not impatiently. “I just wanted to get to know you.” 

Not necessarily a lie but not the whole truth either, sure Billy wanted to know Tommy but he wanted to know himself too. His whole life he’d known he was adopted, and while it never felt like a dividing factor between himself and his family it felt internally divisive. Like there was some secret part of himself that not even he knew about, it scared him sometimes, it made him shut things out.

“Yeah well you could just do that over the phone y’know.”

Billy frowned, Tommy could be so fucking confusing. Sometimes it seemed like he was happy to be in New York but other times it felt like he resented it.

“But then we wouldn’t be able to get delicious overpriced smoothies together would we?”

He smiled, Tommy snorted. They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Billy could tell Tommy had a dozen burning questions just like he did but for now he wasn’t jumping to ask them. For now he was trying to appreciate the tiny amount of progress they’d made, baby steps. 

They ended up walking for a while longer. Billy showed Tommy a game he and his brothers invented where you have to pick a stranger and describe how their day had been so far. Tommy kept making people secret murderers or bank robbers or international spies. 

They sat at a picnic table and debated which was the most ridiculous tourist family they’d seen that day. Tommy nominated the group wearing matching I <3 NYC shirts but as a native New Yorker Billy nominated the middle aged couple wearing Lady Liberty hats. They compared tourist stories and Tommy had some pretty colorful descriptions of the tourists, or shoobies, in Jersey. Neither of them seemed particularly eager to acknowledge how cold it was or how stiff the benches were, they were busy making up lost time.

The sun was starting to set, Billy flicked his phone out to check the time. Holy fuck 8:20! It was way later than he thought it was, he felt like they’d only left the house a half hour ago. There were also a string of missed messages from his Mom.

> Okay honey be safe  
> Your dad is going out to pick up groceries. Do you need anything?  
> Dinner is on the table  
> It’s getting dark out be home soon  
> Don’t forget to take out the trash tonight

He sighed, shut his phone off and shoved it back in his pocket.

“Gotta head back to the cell block?” Tommy said from where he was laying on the picnic table staring at the sky.

“Yeah I need to take the trash out.”

“Say no more little brother.” He sat up with an exaggerated grunt. “I will lead us home safely.”

“Bold of you to assume you’re the older brother.”

“Well aren’t I? I mean it would explain why I’m superior in every way.”

Billy scoffed. “I have a copy of our birth certificates, why don’t I just check when we get home?”

“Why bother?” Tommy waved his hand dismissively. “Time is relative, I would be the older brother even if we weren’t twins.”

“Sounds like you’re worried about being proved wrong.” He said smugly, he never did check their times of birth so it was possible he could be older.

“Yeah we’ll see about that.”

The ride home was much more comfortable than the one out, though slightly longer because they had to take a different route. They sat next to each other on the train, Billy’s knobby knees bumping against Tommy’s even knobbier ones. Billy scrolled through Instagram liking Kate’s workout video’s and Cassie’s weird ant farm posts, Tommy stared out the window watching the city pass in a blur. 

His parents were cuddling together on the couch watching some black and white film when they got back, his Mom was fast asleep on his Dad’s shoulder. His Dad put a finger to his lips as they rowdily entered the house and waved them goodnight.

In his bed Billy pulled up the month old email from Jonas with his and Tommy’s birth certificates. Fuck. Tommy was older by fifteen minutes. His white haired twin sat across the room watching him smugly.

“Well you look like you’re about to cry so I’m gonna guess that I’m older.” He teased.

“Fuck off.” Was all Billy could come up with in response.

“You really shouldn’t speak to your elders like that Billy,” he gloated, “it’s disrespectful.”

Billy rolled his eyes in the way that Cassie said made him look bitchy and threw a pillow across the room. Tommy deflected it easily, apparently pleased with Billy’s reaction.

“Whatever,” Billy said, catching the pillow Tommy threw back to him. “I’m going to sleep.”

“At 9:30?”

“Uh yah, I have school tomorrow.”

Tommy grinned. “Alright, night grandpa.”

“Goodnight.” Billy said flopping onto his side. “Can you turn the lights off?”

He heard some rustling and the room went dark. Maybe it was exhaustion from all the speed walking but for once sleep came easily.

\--------------------

In time Billy and Tommy were able to find a tentative rhythm, Tommy remained withdrawn and cagey at the house but out in public he was relaxed and laid back in a carefully constructed sort of way. Billy never felt sure enough to ask the questions he wanted to ask or push their conversations in the direction he wanted them to go. But he listened to his Mom’s advice and let Tommy set the pace. He just worried that if this was Tommy’s pace then they’d be almost dead before he started getting any answers.

Over one long weekend his Mom gave them some cash to buy Tommy some new clothes and school stuff. Instead of going to Billy’s usual spots at outlet stores Tommy insisted they scour the city for decent thrift shops and ‘cool underground type stores’ as Tommy described them.

Two hours into day one Billy was already getting fed with chasing after his brother, who must be part roadrunner.

‘I told you you didn’t have to come.” Tommy said over his shoulder as he power walked through aisles of musty goodwill clothes.

“Yeah well my Mom wanted the house empty anyways.”

“And you’ve got nowhere better to be than here?” Tommy gave him an incredulous look. Billy hoped one day Tommy would move past being suspicious and dismissive of Billy wanting to spend time together. It made it really fucking hard to hang out with him sometimes.

“Nope.” Billy replied, popping the p a little.

“Oh! What about this?” Tommy fished a dark green windbreaker out of the rack of jackets, it was worn around the cuffs and the label was peeling but other than that it was in good condition. He slipped it on stretching his arms and doing a Micheal Jackson-esque spin. Billy gave him a thumbs up and he threw it in the cart.

As items piled up Billy noted the difference between what was in the cart and what Tommy was wearing, which were the clothes they’d been given by Mary Shepherd. The clothes Tommy picked out were loose allowing for plenty of motion and full of vibrant colors. The clothes he was wearing were stiff, a little too small for him, and almost gray with how washed out they looked.

For the millionth time Billy wondered about Tommy’s life, which in turn made him wonder about his life and his birth mother’s life and the interconnected lives of everyone he knew and everyone he didn’t. And for the millionth time Billy abandoned that line of questioning because it felt too big and incomprehensible.

They spent the longest amount of time going through the shoe aisle. Tommy insisted on wearing each potential pair for a few minutes just to see if they ‘felt right’. They walked away with three pairs of sneakers and two armfuls of clothes stuffed in paper bags.

Billy checked the time anxiously while they sat on the benches in the subway. As always the train was late, which meant they’d be home late, which meant he’d probably be late for work and have to pick up an extra shift or two to stay on his manager’s good side. He bit his nail, a nervous habit he’d never been able to shake.

“I thought the subway was supposed to be fast and convenient.” Tommy groaned.

“That’s a common misconception.” Billy informed him. “It’s actually designed to be late when you need to leave early and early when you have time to be late.”

Tommy snickered a little, it always felt nice getting him to laugh. At long last the train arrived and they made it home just in time for Billy to toss the bags through the doorway and rush off to his shitty retail job.

“Have fun at work!” His Mom called from the living room. Like that ever happened.

“Don’t get fired!” He heard Tommy shout to his back. That was his general goal.

Work was long and tedious as always. He was getting better at handling overbearing managers but it was the customers that left him frustrated and exhausted at the end of the day. When he finally dragged himself home his feet were aching from hours of standing and he wanted nothing more than to call Teddy and vent about his day. 

His room was empty when he entered it and the window was open. All the new clothes they’d bought Tommy were still in bags on his bed. His Mom also wasn’t awake in the living room as she always was when he went out late so he put two and two together and concluded that Tommy had snuck out.

Not the smartest move, his parents were pretty easy going especially with Tommy but they did not tolerate sneaking around. Still he left the window open for the same reason he’d let his little brothers play on their DS’ well into the night, he had no desire to be singled out as the snitch. His bed was mercifully soft and he was asleep before he could even pull up Teddy’s contact. He woke up once to the sound of a creaky window pane being forced shut as quietly as it could be and slept soundly the rest of the night.

\--------------------

School was never really Tommy’s scene, sure pre-K through third grade had been a breeze but the second they introduced quiet time it all went downhill. Soon enough he was spending more time in time out, then detention, then suspension, then juvy. He got so many calls sent home that Frank and Mary just stopped checking the messages, by sixth grade they’d ditched parent teacher meetings all together.

But this time would be different, it had to be. From what he could tell about the Kaplans they didn’t let anything less than a B+ and a glowing teacher recommendation slide. 

Tommy tried not to fidget too much on the car ride there but by the time they’d pulled up to the school he’d reduced the label of his new backpack to flakes of plastic. He felt unpleasantly hot walking up the steps and the straps of his bag dug into his collar bone. This place looked nice, he was surprised there weren’t uniforms and valets in the parking lot or whatever rich schools had.

“Hey.” Billy bumped against his shoulder. “Relax.”

“Fuck off.” He tried to sound like he was joking but he meant it a little too much for it to pass as casual ribbing.

“Look,” Billy said pointing at the sheet with his schedule on it and graciously ignoring Tommy’s bad mood. “We’ve got the same lunch period. Why don’t you swing by, you can finally meet my boyfriend.” He sounded so unironically enthusiastic about them meeting that Tommy almost looked forward to it too.

Tommy nodded and without looking back at his brother ascended the stairs two at a time. He had a meeting with the guidance counselor, Mrs. Bush, first period so that was exciting. Her office was a lot nicer than any guidance counselor’s office he’d ever been in, there were photos of her smiling with groups of students and other faculty pinned to the walls and a framed diploma above her desk, so she wasn’t just some rando the school had stuck in an office like his last school. 

There were also those cheesy peel off Hallmark phrases pasted to the walls and pamphlets covering everything from college applications to teenage pregnancy arranged neatly in a display case. He sat in the cushioned chair bouncing his leg and chewing the inside of his lip while she told him about all the school’s super special programs for super special kids like him.

As always the minutes dragged by and the warm yellow walls seemed uncomfortably close together.

“So does that all sound agreeable Thomas.” She said, staring at him from behind her wire rimmed glasses.

“Yep, mhm.” Tommy said only half sure what they’d just agreed about. 

She passed him a packet of papers from the dark blue folder on her desk. As always he itched to snatch it from her hands and look through it to see what little notes there were about him but he refrained. 

“Now have Mr. and Mrs. Kaplan sign these by Friday and we can have you in the system before next week okay hun?” She gave him a well practiced warm smile.

He shoved the papers in the back of his bag and was halfway out the door before she called after him. “And Thomas, if you ever need anything you can just come to my office alright?”

With his back turned he rolled his eyes and said, “Sure thing.” before racing out into the hall as fast as he could without it being considered running.

The halls were empty with everyone still in their first classes of the day, he checked his schedule. Okay so maybe he should’ve taken Billy up on his offer to show him around the school because he had no idea where to find the Computer Lab. He glanced around hoping futilely for a clue before just picking a direction and walking, it had to turn up eventually right? This place couldn’t be that big.

By the time the bell rang he only felt more lost and more certain that he’d miss his first class, get written up and have to explain to the Kaplans that he was a fuck up that couldn’t even find his way around a school let alone exel in one. Just as he decided to give up and just find a way to sneak out he felt a hand tapping his shoulder.

“Billy oh my god, what’d you do to your hair?” A short blond girl who looked a little young to be hanging around with Billy said. She frowned up at him and he blinked down at her. 

His mind buffered for a few more seconds before he finally blurted out. “I’m not Billy.”

Her frown intensified then broke into wide eyed realization. “Oh duh,” she said smacking herself in the forehead, “you must be Tommy right? I’m sorry I completely forgot Billy said you were starting this week.” She stuck her hand out beaming. “I’m Cassie. It's nice to meet you.”

“Uh Tommy.” He said even though she clearly already knew his name, real smooth. It felt weird shaking hands with someone who looked thirteen.

“So where ya heading to?” She strained her neck to look at his schedule which he was holding in front of his chest.

“Uh computer science.”

She wrinkled her nose. “With Velez or Estabrooks?”

He checked his sheet. “Velez.”

“Oh that's good, he’s not so bad. Estabrooks is such a jackass though. He failed my friend Jonas just cause he wouldn’t follow the exact lesson plan. Like hello it's 2017 we all know how to use a computer, probably better than he does.”

“Yeah it’s like adults think we’re just as clueless with that stuff as they are.” He grinned, if there’s one thing he found easy it was making fun of teachers, even ones he’d never had. “Hey would you mind pointing me in the right direction, I’m kinda lost here.”

“Oh sure thing.” she chirped, grabbing his schedule out of his hands. “Man they’ve got you all over the place you’re gonna have to run to get to some of these classes.”

“It’s cool. I move fast.”

“Alright well the computer lab is on the first floor across from the auditorium, it’s got a big mural of the school founder hanging near it so it’s pretty hard to miss. Anyways I gotta go or I’ll be late for class but it was nice meeting you kay bye.” She blurted out almost as fast as he could and waved while running off up the stairs.

Sure enough the computer lab was downstairs with an excessively large oil painting of an old man in a tweed jacket hanging nearby. Unfortunately for him he was late and class had already begun, he huffed two deep breaths because that's supposed to calm him down and then opened the door as quietly as he could. But of course no matter how nice the school the doors have always gotta be creaky so when someone’s late the whole class can stare at them in unison.

Without a word Tommy grabbed a packet from the pile stacked by the door and took an empty seat in the back.“Welcome to Room A127” it said on the cover with a cartoon image of a printer saying “Ask before you print!” in big bubbly letters.

The teacher was talking up front, pointing at lists on the projector and explaining the classroom rules. No one else had their computer on so Tommy figured it was probably safe to zone out a little, get himself into a less frenzied headspace. He leaned back in his chair and caught the eye of the boy a seat to the left of him.

He was dark haired and stocky, maybe Mexican or something. He leaned over to the girl sitting next to Tommy and whispered something in her ear, next thing Tommy knew they were switching seats and the stocky boy was introducing himself as Jonas, a friend of Billy.

“You must be Tommy.” Jesus how many friends does Billy have?

“Yep.” He smiled widely.

“It's nice to finally meet you. Billy’s told me a lot about you.” Jonas had a friendly smile but Tommy could definitely tell why he and Billy were friends because the guy looked anxious as hell.

Tommy’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh has he?”

“Uh yeah,” Jonas said, looking a little more nervous, so maybe Billy actually had told him a lot about him. “I actually uh,” he looked like he regretted speaking, “helped find you.”

Tommy frowned, there was a story there he could tell. “And how’d you manage that?”

“Well I guess you could say I’m good with computers.” Jonas smiled looking proud of himself.

“But you’re in Computer Science one?”

“I’m good with computers, belligerent authority figures not so much.” Jonas’ smile turned lopsided and Tommy decided he was cool even if he got a kind of square vibe.

“I get you, I get you. How do you know Billy?”

“Oh we met during an AP Saturday session, he was there for History and I was there for Calc.” So Billy’s friends are a bunch of nerds, shocker.

“Sounds like a blast.” He said sarcastically. “What about that little blonde chick, uh Cassie. The school got an elementary exchange program or something?”

Jonas bristled a little at that, ”Cassie’s a sophomore, and she skipped a grade. We met in the robotics club and I introduced her to Billy and Teddy. She’s really a sweet girl even if she wants to act tough so don’t let her fool you.” The ridiculous googly eyed look on Jonas’ face told Tommy all he needed to know about that relationship, so no making fun of Cassie in front of Jonas unless he wanted to upset him. Which he didn’t, yet. “Speaking of which have you met Teddy yet?” 

“Nope not yet.”

“Okay well when you do ask him if he’s watched any Greys Anatomy recently.” There was a glint in Jonas’ eye that told Tommy this would upset Teddy, so he resolved to say it. 

“Will do.” Tommy responded. He was about to ask for directions to his next class when the teacher interrupted him calling Jonas’ name.

“Can I get eyes up front please.” The middle aged man said before returning to his lecture about food and drink in the classroom. Jonas and Tommy both rolled their eyes simultaneously but neither of them were trying to get in trouble on the first day of a new semester so they sat back and paid attention.

That class and the two after it dragged on, Tommy didn’t run into anymore of Billy’s friends but he did get a few weird looks in the hall from people he assumed knew his brother. It wasn’t as difficult as he thought it’d be to lay low during class. In his old school he had the reputation of a class clown so that was the role he always fell into, in juvy he acted out as some sort of futile fuck you to the universe for putting him in there, but here no one expected him to act out except maybe the guidance counselor. If anything they expected the opposite from him given his twin’s reputation as a nice quiet kid. It was a weird sort of relief and a new kind of pressure that he’d never felt before.

And yes not cracking jokes and cutting class at every opportunity made the day go by slower, but if that’s how things had to be that’s how they would be. He hated to admit it but he actually looked forward to lunch with Billy if only to have a little decent conversation.

The school’s lunchroom was the only part of his day that felt familiar, no matter where they were cafeterias full of teenagers were guaranteed to be chaotic, which just happened to be Tommy’s natural environment. Billy was set up at a table in the corner eating the packed lunch Mrs, Kaplan had made for them, leftover grilled chicken and a kale and balsamic salad.

Tommy tossed his bag onto the table and sat down with a huff.

Billy eyed him with a mouthful of kale. “How’d classes go?” He said, sounding like his mother.

“So boooooring dude. I thought I was gonna scratch my eyes out.” Tommy fished his own smushed lunch out of his backpack. Even though he’d said she shouldn't, Mrs. Kaplan had packed him one as well, thankfully there was no note in his as he suspected there was in Billy’s and the kid’s.

“Sounds about right.”

“I’m just gonna drop out and become a stripper.” Tommy said shoving a forkful of chicken into his mouth.

“That’s exactly what I said last week.” A voice came from behind him. He turned and was met with a six foot tall solid wall of muscle who beamed sweetly down at his brother. There was no way this was the Teddy Billy was always talking about, just no way. But despite the impossibility of it the Adonis-like boy sat down next to his shrimpy little brother and slung an arm around his shoulder. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” Teddy extended his free hand towards Tommy.

They shared a loose handshake. “Yeah I’ve been getting that a lot today.”

“Oh yeah?” Billy said. “Who’d you meet?”

“Couple people.” Tommy put more chicken in his mouth despite not being fully done with the last mouthful. “So Billy why didn’t you tell me you were dating Hulk Hogan. I mean seriously dude,” Tommy gestured to Teddy’s biceps with his fork, “you could probably bench press him.”

Teddy turned two shades pinker and Billy grimaced. “If he could bench me he could bench you jack weed.”

Tommy touched his chest in mock hurt. “Yeah well next time I need someone to back me in a fight I’m calling yah boy toy m’kay.”

“God shut up.” Billy flicked a piece of carrot at Tommy but it missed and careened onto the floor.

Teddy’s eyes flicked between the two gauging whether their banter was friendly or not. 

“I play football.” He said, he didn’t have a New York accent, it was more Midwestern, Michigan maybe.

“Yeah I gathered.” 

Tommy examined the two together, now that he was seeing them in action it made sense in a Netflix romcom kind of way. Teddy was picking at Billy’s food ignoring the tray of school lunch tacos in front of him, and Billy was comfortable with it in a way that told Tommy this was a routine for them. If there was anything Billy was comfortable with it was routine. 

“What gave it away the muscles or the wrist brace?” Teddy asked jokingly.

“The letterman jacket.” Tommy deadpanned. Seriously who actually wears those.

“Yeah,” Teddy honest to god blushed more, “my mom makes me take it with me.”

Tommy tried and failed not to snicker, Billy shot him a dirty look for that.

“I think it looks good.” Billy said, reaffirming. Teddy smiled clearly pleased at the compliment. Tommy rolled his eyes because of course they were that kind of couple.

“So Teddy -” Tommy began, an invasive question already on the tip of his tongue, when a tray landed on the table with a thwack.

“Alright Altman. No more avoiding it. We’re going to start working on that Calc project and you can’t bail out on me.” A bald black dude with a piercing took a seat away from Tommy, he was leaner than Teddy but Tommy still got the impression he could crack a skull if he needed to. Without waiting for a response the guy started pulling notebooks and calculators out of his bag and setting them up between himself and Teddy.

Teddy removed his arm from around Billy’s shoulders to scratch the back of his head. “You see Eli...the thing is…” he looked fearfully back at Billy, “I haven’t started my half yet.”

The bald guy, Eli, fixed Teddy with a blank but also scathingly disappointed look. Tommy had been on the receiving end of stares like that his whole life and he knew it did not feel good, he bristled just seeing it.

“Yeah I kind of put that together.” Eli pinched the bridge of his nose. “But this thing is due by the end of the week and my dad has been on my ass about grades ever since I got my job at the library so I need you to at least help me to help you.”

Looking downright sheepish Teddy nodded shifting to the seat next to Eli, the two began pouring over sheets of incomprehensible gibberish. Billy looked put out at Teddy’s preoccupation and retreated to his precious cellphone to distract himself.

One chicken breast later and Tommy was already bored and pissed that the only semi interesting part of his school day was getting spoiled. He leaned back in his chair, tapped his fingers on the table, fiddled with his backpack zipper, stared at the ceiling, watched a bird take flight from the parking lot. Everything was dragging on painfully slowly.

He sat forward in his seat with a clunk and leaned over the table to look at Eli and Teddy’s array of papers as if they could entertain him. Tommy would never admit this out loud but he didn’t actually dislike math, and he didn’t suck at it either, but whatever AP project bullshit these two were working on might as well have been written in German for all Tommy could decipher from it.

“This conversion isn’t right.” Eli said, sliding a paper back to Teddy. Teddy picked the sheet up and stared at it hopelessly.

“Tommy,” Teddy flipped the paper so it was facing him, “does this look right to you?”

Tommy squinted at the numbers arranged into equations that had no meaning to him. “I dunno man, never taken Calc before.”

Noticing his partner’s momentary lapse in complete focus Eli looked at Tommy directly as if just noticing him. Tommy couldn’t help feeling like he was being scrutinized.

“You guys don’t look as similar as I thought you would.” Was all he said before returning his attention to a calculator the size of a brick. 

“That's what I’m always saying!” It felt oddly refreshing to have their pretty glaring differences acknowledged. Billy just rolled his eyes and kept scrolling on his phone.

Lunch passed as disappointingly slow as the rest of the day with Teddy and Eli absorbed in their schoolwork and Billy definitely not pouting about lack of attention from his boyfriend. For a second Tommy imagined what it would be like to be in a relationship like Billy and Teddy’s and he shuddered. Commitment was all well and good for other people but it just didn’t suit his lifestyle. People came and went in phases, it was just the way of things, getting too attached to one person would only end up being stifling.

Mercifully the bell rang which meant he only had two more hours, and then three months, left to tough it out through school. His final class of the day was the only one he didn’t need to force himself to attend, gym. 

Tommy had made his rounds through a few schools in New Jersey and in every single one he’d dominated gym class. Even with sports he didn’t particularly enjoy like football he pushed himself to be the best in the class. Not even for bragging rights, well a little for bragging rights, but mostly just to know he could. Like at least he could have one stupid takeaway from those countless wasted hours.

Gym class at Billy’s preppy school seemed no different than any of the public schools he’d been kicked out of, bored kids tired from a long day split between lazily participating and sitting idly on the bleachers. And as always the athletic kids were off in their own group being competitive and showing off.

Among the group of five or six kids there was clearly a ring leader, a dark haired asian girl in all purple, name brand gear. She was short but clearly muscular and she moved with a confidence that was both intimidating and attractive. 

In general Tommy tended to gravitate towards people who knew how to commit to a look so he was a little disappointed when the middle aged coach with frosted tips put them on opposite teams for volleyball. That didn’t mean he didn’t plan on making an impression though.

He took the position of setter and considering that most of the athletic looking kids were on the purple girls team he figured he’d end up carrying his. He served directly to her position as middle blocker. Almost effortlessly she bumped the ball high into the air and spiked it over the net. It hit the ground with a sharp ping making a bored looking goth girl who’d been staring out the windows jump in surprise.

One of purple girl’s teammates gave her a congratulatory high five which seemed a little presumptuous to Tommy since it was only the first serve. Her team served the ball and even though he was a middle hitter he jumped into the outside hitter’s space because the dude was clearly too busy on his phone to notice the ball flying directly at him. The ball made a high arc over the net and her team’s setter completely fumbled it. There was no one on his team to high five him so he just pumped his fist in the air congratulating himself. Purple girl definitely noticed that.

The game continued like that with Tommy compensating for his team’s lack of motivation and purple girl making her team’s strongest plays. On their final set Tommy was a red faced sweaty smelly mess but the scores were evening out, 14 to 15, if he could just get to seventeen he’d be satisfied.

Purple girl was setter now. She crouched holding the ball in one hand and Tommy swore she looked right at him before serving it directly to his weakest teammate, the goth girl. Tommy surged forward trying to reach the ball before she inevitably let it hit the ground but she got in the way and he just ended up colliding with her. He heard the ball hit the ground and the teacher blew her stupid shrill whistle.

“Team two wins 17 to 14!” She announced like they were at an actual event. Purple girls teammates congratulated each other with the self assured confidence of kids who always won. He’d change that attitude by the end of the semester for sure.

“Ugh get off me.” The goth girl said from underneath him. She shoved him backwards onto his ass and stomped back to the bleachers with her participation credit, he didn’t apologize.

Before he could get to his feet on his own purple girl was standing in front of him with an outstretched hand.

“Good game.” She smiled. He stood up on his own.

“Thanks.” He dusted some grime off his new shorts. “Same to you I guess.”

“Oh you guess?” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah I mean you did play a little dirty don’t ya think?” He smiled at her in the way he reflexively smiled at all cute girls who scared him a little.

“I didn’t break any rules did I?” Tommy opened his mouth to say no but she cut him off. “Then the way I see it you lost fair and square.”

He snorted. “Who says fair and square?”

“Uh I do duh.”

“Yeah you and fifty year old men.”

She laughed, it was more of a bark really but Tommy liked the sound of it, he wanted to hear it again.

“Funny.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “I’m Kate.” She said, extending her hand again. He shook it, her grip was impressively firm, a business man’s handshake.

“Tommy.” He flashed a toothy smile.

“Any chance you’re related to a Billy Kaplan?”

Ugh, was there anyone who’d talked to him today that didn’t know Billy.

“Yep. I’m his older, more attractive brother.”

“Well I don’t know about more attractive.” She looked him up and down. “Billy’s got that whole sensitive artist vibe going on.”

“Pssh.” Tommy waved a dismissive hand. “Please that’s so corny, everyone knows jocks are where it’s at.”

“What is this Mean Girls?” She smiled at her own comment. “Besides you couldn’t be a jock if you tried.”

“And why is that?” He raised an eyebrow incredulously.

“You don’t know how to play on a team.” Her tone was very matter of fact like a teacher.

“Why would I when I am the team?”

“See that attitude” she pointed a finger at his chest, “is exactly why you lost.”

“Hey I lost cuz my team was a bunch of snails.” He said a little defensively.

“You lost because you shoved Tracy out of the way before she even got the chance to bump the ball.” 

He opened his mouth to retaliate when he was interrupted yet again by the whistle.

“Locker rooms!” The teacher shouted from her seat on the bleachers. Immediately students hopped up from their seats and abandoned whatever equipment they were using to scurry off and change.

“Well I’ll see you around Katie.” He grinned and spun on his heel in the direction of the boys locker room.

“Ugh,” She made a disgusted face, “do not call me Katie.”

His grin only widened and he waved behind his back unsure if she was still looking in his direction or not. So not all Billy’s friends were squares, good to know. He didn’t bother cleaning himself up when he changed, he’d just get sweaty again later when he went for a run anyways. As he walked down the wide stone steps at the school's entrance Billy appeared at his side matching his pace with only a little exertion.

“Hey!” He said a little out of breath from jogging to catch up with Tommy. “How’d your first day go?”

Tommy shrugged. “Could’ve been worse.”

“I heard you and Jonas have a class together.” They reached the bottom of the steps and veered off to the route home. “That’s good Jonas is a good guy. He’ll help you with homework and shit too if you ask him.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Tommy said, and he actually did mean it, it never hurt to have a few smart friends, or acquaintances. He was pleased with how the day had gone, more pleased than he’d like to admit. Sure it was slow like a slug trapped in molasses but nothing exploded, nobody got hurt, he didn’t get any warnings from teachers or anything. So far he was off to a better start than any school he’d ever attended, he might even last to the end of the semester if he could keep it up.


End file.
